


Nicknames Aren't All the Same

by puff22_2001



Series: The Cook, The Handyman, His Wife (They're Lovers) [3]
Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pet Names, Polyamory, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 00:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30012996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puff22_2001/pseuds/puff22_2001
Summary: Linda worries that Teddy feels left out in the name department. In typical Linda fashion, she takes things a little too far.
Relationships: Bob Belcher/Linda Belcher, Bob Belcher/Linda Belcher/Teddy (Bob's Burgers), Bob Belcher/Teddy (Bob's Burgers), Linda Belcher/Teddy (Bob's Burgers)
Series: The Cook, The Handyman, His Wife (They're Lovers) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197755
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Nicknames Aren't All the Same

Linda notices first. Of course she does! Bob, bless his heart, isn’t nearly as observant as she is. Bob can cook an amaze-balls burger or defend his family to the death, but he’s just not going to see every little quirk no matter how much he loves them.

Of course it’s Linda who notices that Teddy’s smile drops, just a little, whenever she calls Bob Bobby or when Bob calls her Lin. It’s instinctive on their part; they don’t really do pet names for each other, so nicknames are the best that they’ve got. Oh, Linda will call Bob honey or sweetheart now and then, but she calls everyone those. They’re not _special_ like their nicknames.

So Bob and Linda aren’t really pet name people. Which is fine until they fold Teddy into their family, like a fuzzy Belcher blanket. Until Bob and Linda start dating him and things change.

Teddy has always just been _Teddy_. That’s how he introduced himself, years ago, as he constructed booths and ran wiring in the restaurant for their (first) grand opening. The kids occasionally call him Theodore as a gentle joke, but otherwise he’s just...Teddy.

Teddy is exactly that--a teddy bear. He’s got a temper, sure, but he’s the sweetest guy at heart. Linda loves to get a hug from Teddy, all warm arms and his head resting on hers. Teddy’s sigh, especially when it’s just the three of them in bed, rumbles like a distant storm. Bob and Linda have been each other’s gross white noise machines for years and Teddy’s added an interesting cadence to the snoring, farting, and all that.

Despite being such an integral part of the family now, Teddy obviously feels left out when it comes to names. Linda asks him about it, as casually as she can, as she’s pouring him a cup of coffee one day a few months into their relationship. They’re the only ones in the restaurant and Teddy lingers longer than he probably should away from his current jobsite to talk to Linda up front and Bob behind the grill.

“So, Teddy.” Linda begins as she leans on the counter during a lull in Teddy telling yet another wandering story. Teddy smiles at her over his cup of coffee. He still wears his cap everywhere in public, but his blond bangs peek out from under the brim. Linda brushes them aside gently before she continues. “Tell me, why don’t you go by Theodore? Or Maybe Theo? Theo sounds so elegant!”

Bob chuckles behind the partition. “Lin, the only people named Theo are twenty-somethings at Liberal Arts colleges.”

Teddy laughs too, but the sound doesn’t quite ring sincere. Linda knows why, of course, but she’s got to do more research before she can fix the problem. Bob may say that she’s too gung-ho sometimes, but she’s _also_ snoopy. She’s going to figure this name thing out for sure!

“I told you my dad was a Theodore, too, right?” Teddy says in between sips of coffee. “Well, he, uh, really didn’t like that my mom named me after him. Said it ‘cheapened his individuality.’ My sister thinks Mom named me that on purpose to make him mad.”

Linda’s face falls. Teddy’s trying to be nonchalant and he’s doing a much better job at it than he might have in the past. Still, his eyes are sad behind those soft bangs.

“Oh, Teddy.” Linda knows enough about Teddy’s childhood that the story isn’t surprising, just upsetting. Why do all of them have such lousy parents, anyway?

The handyman smiles weakly back at Linda. “It’s fine, it’s fine! Dr. Marjorie says that I’m allowed to reclaim my identity independent of my dad, you know?” He chugs the rest of his coffee and then holds out the mug. “Could I get another cup, please, Lin?”

Bob leans out of the order window, the grill brush clenched in his hand. “Teddy, I am so glad that you’re going to Dr. Marjorie regularly again.”

“It’s totally because of you guys.” Teddy’s smile strengthens and he skims Linda’s hand as she puts his newly-full mug on the counter. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Bob blushes and goes back to his scrubbing without a reply. Linda kisses Teddy on the cheek as a thank you before she starts wiping down the counter. She should probably be getting ready for the dinner rush in a few hours, but she’s too distracted with the current situation.

“You’re Teddy because that’s what your dad called you?” Linda asks as Teddy drinks his coffee. Linda wants to drop the issue, but she’s never been good at letting things go. She’s like a gossip shark, especially with anything concerning the people that she loves.

Thankfully, Teddy looks more amused than upset now. “Nah, he called me Boy or Son generally. He didn’t like nicknames either so he was kinda in a tight spot when it came to talking about or to me.”

“So why Teddy?”

“My sister mostly. Mom calls me Theodore, but Dana calls me Teddy.”

Teddy’s close to his sister; they share a painful history, of course. He’s close to his mother as well but that relationship is a lot more codependent. Linda can clearly see how Teddy’s mother takes advantage of his willing nature (and solidly ignores the same flaw in her own mother). It makes sense that he’d choose Dana’s nickname for him.

“Well, I think it fits you perfectly!” Linda injects as much enthusiasm as she can into her voice. She’s not done, not by a long shot, but the bell over the door rings and she has to seat the couple walking in. Still, she’ll keep gnawing on this bone until she figures out how to stop Teddy’s smile turning melancholy every time she calls his name.

\----

That night Linda lays awake long after Bob and Teddy are asleep and snoring like racing freight trains. Usually she’s the first one out for the count. Bob is too anxious and Teddy has a habit of working on small projects before he lays down. It’s a damn good thing that they got a bigger bed last summer or Bob would have killed Teddy by now. It’s taken months of badgering, but Teddy’s finally stopped bringing anything to bed that might drop screws or other pointy, tiny things in between the sheets.

Linda is still trying to come up with a solution to the nickname problem. How do you give someone a nickname when they already go by one? Linda briefly considers Ted, but Ted has a different feel to it than Teddy. Ted sounds like a grandpa, with hard candies and ointments. They may be in their forties but they’re not _that_ old!

Linda tosses and turns but Teddy doesn’t wake up next to her. He’s a great buffer between Linda and Bob, which has helped Bob get slightly more sleep. Even so, Linda will sometimes crawl over Teddy to snuggle in between her two special guys and Teddy will scooch over to curl around her, his hand grazing Bob’s shoulder or thigh. She sleeps the best on those nights.

Linda’s eyes pop open and she beams into the dark. Bob’s comment from earlier has sown a seed in Linda’s mind. She has a brilliant idea! Maybe. Well, either way it’s the best that she can come up with. Linda turns and throws an arm over Teddy, still smiling as she finally falls asleep.

\----

When Teddy gets ready for bed the following evening, Bob and Linda are missing. Usually the adults jockey for the bathroom with the kids and then wander around their room trying to get all of their odds and ends. Bob and Linda disappeared right after sending the kids to bed, muttering something about needing to finish up a few things in the restaurant. Teddy isn’t sure what but he’d been at work all day (other than lunch, of course) and so isn’t in the loop about any problems in the restaurant beyond what Bob and Linda talked about at dinner.

He misses them already.

Teddy slides into bed with a magazine to wait. He’s trying so hard to abide by Bob’s request not to work on anything before going to sleep. The handyman is doing all right in that regard--Dr. Marjorie helps him with his impulse control--but he’s tempted to get the cellphone that he’s fixing anyway. If Bob and Linda aren’t there, Teddy’s much more likely to need something to do. He could scoot over to Bob’s side of the bed and use his side table as a workspace and maybe that will stop any small parts from ending up in the blankets.

Teddy’s nearly convinced himself to get up when Linda opens the door to the bedroom with a flourish. She’s got her hair in pigtails, and she’s wearing a graphic tee-shirt and a pair of faded pajama pants that Teddy’s never seen before. Behind her, looking embarrassed, is Bob in another tee-shirt and printed boxers that are also a mystery to Teddy. Usually Bob wears sweats to bed and Linda loves her nightgowns, so Teddy’s not at all sure what’s going on. He’s attracted to his partners regardless of what they wear but this is all new--and kind of hot.

“Uh, hey, guys. What’s up?”

“Theo, there you are!” Linda says with a grin. Teddy is more confused than ever. “Why’d you leave the party?”

“What party?” Teddy asks as Linda crawls into bed and over him to lay half on top of Teddy. Bob closes the door behind him and takes his own place. He immediately pulls up the blankets, looking put-out. Linda does have a way of getting _her_ way, so Teddy knows that the new look was not Bob’s idea.

“The frat party, of course!” Linda purrs suggestively. Teddy smiles back, though he cocks his head in uncertainty.

Bob sighs deeply as he digs around in his nightstand. “Lin, he’s not getting it.”

“Not getting what? That I’m a sexy co-ed and you’re my two big men on campus?” Linda says, her voice taking on a frustrated tone. “Why don’t we make out and pull an all-nighter before class tomorrow?”

“What class? We all have work tomorrow.” Teddy says as he hugs Linda to him. He really, really isn’t getting it, though he’s certainly happy to make out if that’s what Linda wants to do.

“Ah, you know what? Fine!” Linda huffs and pulls away. She crosses her arms in irritation and continues. “Fine, never mind.”

“I’m, uh, a little lost.” Teddy says as he reaches to put his magazine on Linda’s bedside table. Linda is pouting and Teddy feels bad, though he has no clue what he did wrong. He tentatively puts an arm around Linda’s shoulders. Linda sighs and hugs Teddy back, which is a relief.

“I just wanted to give you a different nickname.” Linda says as she lays there in his arms. Bob is close on Teddy’s other side and their warmth is still so new and special to the handyman. “And I thought maybe some roleplay would be fun.”

“Why’d you want to give me a nickname? My name _is_ my nickname.” Teddy is touched, definitely, though still hopelessly confused.

Linda traces circles on Teddy’s shoulder as she answers. “You always look a little sad when Bob or I call each other by our nicknames. I just wanted you to feel included.”

“Aw, Lin.” Teddy says and grins down at her. “That’s really, really sweet.”

“She made me close the restaurant for an hour earlier so we could go to the thrift store for these clothes.” Bob says and turns a page of the book he’s pulled from his nightstand. He looks less annoyed now, which is another relief.

“So, we’re supposed to be in college?” Teddy fingers Linda’s tee, the name of some band or other printed on the front. “Is this what’s in with the kids these days?”

Linda shrugs. “Maybe? I watched some girls to see what they liked and they did pick up this shirt.”

“What Linda means is, she hid in the racks and scared some poor college students by falling over almost on top of them when she got tangled in the winter coats.” Bob deadpans as he turns a page. Linda scowls over at him, though Bob doesn't look up as he continues reading.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Linda says, ignoring Bob’s remark, “I people-watched and figured out our outfits. I got you some clothes, too.”

Teddy is tickled pink to be included. He doesn’t own a lot of clothes; most of his are work gear and a few casual pieces. The newest clothes that Teddy even owns are the pajamas that Bob and Linda bought him some months ago.

“That’s great! I really appreciate it.” Teddy cuts himself off with a wide yawn. “Can I try them on tomorrow? I’m pretty beat.”

Linda frowns a little, clearly still miffed at Bob and in general. “Yeah, sure. My roleplay is ruined, anyway.” Her frown takes on a sadder edge and Teddy squeezes her shoulders in sympathy.

“I really am touched that you wanted to give me a nickname.” Teddy looks up at the ceiling before continuing thoughtfully. “I do sometimes wish my dad hadn’t been so weird about names. That I could have been Theodore like him.”

“Does it bother you when the kids call you that?” Linda asks as she pulls the ties from her pigtails. She puts them on top of Teddy’s magazine and then she takes off her glasses to lay them on the nightstand as well. The sexy co-ed is gone and in her place is a tired forty-something mother with bad eyes and messy hair.

Teddy loves those bad eyes and messy hair.

“Nah, it’s cute! They’re being funny and the kids calling me that kinda gives me better memories, you know?”

Bob puts his book away on his nightstand. They all had a long day and none of them are great readers anyway. Bob turns off his lamp and they all lay down in their usual positions, accounting for bad backs and bad necks and other middle-aged problems.

“Well, I’m still sorry.” Linda says as she hugs Teddy in the dark and grazes Bob’s arm with her hand.

“It’s OK, Lin. You’re great just to think about me.” Teddy closes his eyes and sighs with contentment. “Besides, you could just call me Ted.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, my sister sometimes calls me that.” Teddy says sleepily. “No one else does, though, which I used to think was weird but I guess if you use a nickname as your name that makes people not want to use a different nickname.”

“Dana calls you Ted?” Linda sounds exasperated beside him. “Are you kidding me?”

“Sometimes. Is--is that not OK?”

Linda turns and growls into her pillow. “I wasted all of that time trying to think of a nickname for you! I farted in the thrift store!”

“Wait, you did?”

“In front of those girls, when I fell.” Linda says, her face still smooshed into her pillow. Teddy rubs her back in sympathy.

“It’s OK, Lin.” Bob says as he turns over to face them. “Those girls won’t remember you. I mean, they might, but it’ll be a fun story for them to tell.”

“You farted in public for me.” Teddy smiles at Linda as she turns over to look at her boyfriend and husband, squinting in the inky grey-black of their bedroom. “I think that’s pretty neat.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Denise never would have embarrassed herself for me, especially not while getting me a present!”

Linda smiles, though the look is slightly dangerous from what Teddy can see. Neither she nor Bob have any good vibes for Teddy’s ex-wife. “That’s true! I did it for love.”

“Yes, now let’s all go to bed for love.” Bob mutters as he closes his eyes. Teddy leans over to kiss Bob goodnight and Bob reciprocates with a small smile. Linda follows in kind and then kisses Teddy as they lay back down.

Teddy grins as he drifts off to sleep, an arm around both brunettes.

\----

Teddy sits eating his lunch as Linda works around him. The restaurant is completely dead except for him at the counter; he’s gotten pretty good over the years in timing his lunch breaks in between rushes so to talk more with Bob and Linda. Teddy’s also gotten _slightly_ better about cutting down his stories so that one tale doesn’t take up his entire break. He still has a tendency to ramble, though, as evidenced by the story that he’s telling now around bites of burger.

“So then I fell in the pool!” He finishes up with a chortle. Linda smiles indulgently at the handyman, wiping a pile of menus as she does. Bob is working in the back chopping ingredients for the Burger of the Day from the sounds of it. The Breakfast Club Burger (comes with turkey bacon) isn’t much different from a regular burger but it’s still amazing. Everything is amazing when Bob’s cooking, as far as Teddy’s concerned.

“Linda, can you go get me some lettuce from the walk-in?” Bob pops out from the order window as Teddy finishes his last bite of burger and starts in on his fries. “I just finished the last head on Teddy’s order.”

“Sure, Bobby.” Linda says as she tosses her rag into the tub under the counter. “Do you want me to grab some more tomatoes while I’m down there?”

“Yeah, actually. Thanks, Lin.” Bob disappears behind the partition again and Linda turns to go.

Before she heads down, Linda grabs the coffee pot and holds it out invitingly to Teddy. “Did you want me to top you off first, Ted?”

Teddy blinks, a handful of fries stuffed in his mouth. He thinks of Dana and how they protected each other as kids. He stares for a moment at Linda in the early afternoon sunlight. She doesn’t look like she even registers what she said.

Teddy’s eyes fill and he chokes down his fries against the lump in his throat. Bob is humming behind the partition and Linda smiles at Teddy, jiggling the pot a little.

He loves them both so much.

“Yeah, yeah! Fill ‘er up, Lin!”

**Author's Note:**

> In binging Bob's Burgers for the last few months I noticed that the Belchers all have varying nicknames for each other but Bob and Linda only really use one each for each other. Linda especially has nicknames and/or pet names for each member of her family. In my humble opinion, if Teddy were officially a member of Linda's family she'd definitely want to differentiate him from customers and the like. Also, I just really like the name Theodore and its variations.
> 
> Also, in rereading this to do some editing, I noticed that I unconsciously mirrored this story: part one in the restaurant with coffee, part two in the bedroom, part three in the bedroom, part four in the restaurant with coffee. I didn't even do that on purpose! I don't know if professional editors would consider that bad or not but I think that it's pretty neat.


End file.
